We Can’t Change What We Don’t Own

May 31, 2020

This afternoon I sit in silent awareness with my Soul, reflecting on and confronting a lifetime of complicity with what is unfolding before us… shining a Light on my shadow, watching scene after scene in my memory when I participated in our subjugation and oppression by the white supremacy and privilege of the patriarchal world order of hierarchy, domination and control.

My silence. My apathy, “it’s OK.” My indifference, “not my problem.” My “playing nice”, “kissing up” and “looking good” to get ahead. Playing my role as a subordinate female. My own implicit biases towards POC and others. Playing by rules intentionally meant to dehumanize all of us and deny the truth that we are ALL EQUAL as human beings, as Souls.

The system was built this way. This is going along with our white privilege. There is no such thing as “non-racist.” “Neutrality” is a cop-out. Unless we are actively anti-racist, the default is that we are racist.

We all have bought into the Big Lie that “successful people” equates to power and wealth and those who have it are to be worshiped and glorified. We have bought into the lie that tax cuts trickle down and all the other permutations of the Big Lie. Conformity and compliance with the lies are our self-destruction.

These beliefs and others that we unconsciously live by are violent weapons of words and actions. They violate the Truth of our inherent Value, Dignity and Divinity of our Souls. They destroy democracy and the rule of law which are our social contract and spiritual covenant of the divine manifestations of our equality of souls. The social contract has been broken; our spiritual covenant, our pledge and perpetual agreement and promise as human beings, must now come forward if we are to survive.

What we disown wreaks havoc. Until we each confront ourselves and explicitly acknowledge and own our personal complicity, the criminal corruption in government and business and the violence in society will continue.

We are looking at what we ALL have created by our individual choices played out in the collective. What’s playing out is the corruption of our human conscience, our souls; what on the inside shows up on the outside. We are ALL responsible for George Floyd. We are ALL responsible for DJT. If you ignore this, you are in delusional denial.

If we’ve been silent because my “life is good” and “it’s not my problem”,  we are complicit and directly accountable.

We can’t change what we don’t own. And once we do, we can’t help but change. Owning OUR part is the Self-Respect, Self-Awareness, Self-Love, and Self-Actualization as a human being of Leading our Lives as Love.

It’s time to look in the mirror and take responsibility and accountability for ourselves AND for one another in the world we create and our role in this moment. We are all answerable for our choices and actions. Until we do, fear and divisiveness will continue to govern our lives. The paradox is that our unique Sovereignty of Soul is what unites us as human beings.

The only way out is in and through.

When the World Falls Apart, People Come Together

March 15, 2020

COVID-19 offers us unprecedented opportunities to grow, mature and evolve as human beings:

We can learn that we are a global community as human beings in this life together and we must be equally responsible for ourselves and all others in our choices.

We can see the interdependencies in our societal-economic-political system and its pathologies that need to change.

We can see the interdependence between our individuality and the collective.

We can learn to appreciate and respect facts, evidence and science.

We can learn to appreciate the value and importance of sound, competent governance and business stewardship based in truth, integrity, transparency, and accountability that comprise Leading as Love that Serves Life.

In our externally-driven, busy lives with its distractions and entertainment removed, we are invited to engage in self-reflection and listen to our Soul bringing forth Wisdom.

In our “isolation”, we can to learn to appreciate our connection and unity as human beings and with Life.

Life gives what we need to grow and transform not what we want to stay in our comfort zones that maintain the status quo. This is a wake-up call.

Crises are Opportunities. Opportunities are Blessings. May Blessings Be.


Leadership in Democracy

February 10, 2020

Democracy is government of the people, by the people and for the people in which sovereign power is vested in the people as a whole who take responsibility for choosing representatives and maintaining their own rights as mature human beings.

Democracy requires both individual and collective accountability for truth, honesty, morality, ethics, and integrity.

Truth means facts and evidence liberated from societal, partisan and religious ideologies and agendas.

Honesty means full disclosure and straightforward, transparent sharing of facts and evidence.

Morality, ethics and integrity Serve our Souls, our human Spirit. They are the integrated applications of truth and honesty in alignment with the foundational, unifying Principle of Democracy: Sovereign Power of the People, of equality, equity, shared power, and justice for the dignity and well-being of ALL. As citizens, we ALL commit to abide by these tenets of the US Constitution.

Leaders in Democracy hold themselves accountable for facilitating the Sovereign Power of both individuals and the collective. They hold themselves accountable to the Sovereignty of their own Soul and all Souls for truth, honesty, morality, ethics, and integrity. Our power and strength are rooted in truth:

Truth allows for Integrity.
Integrity invites Accountability.
Accountability establishes the Power of Sovereignty.


Democracy is both individual and collective Leadership of unity in diversity. Democracy both requires and calls forth our Self-Respect, Self-Awareness, Self-Love, and Self-Actualization as Human Beings. Leaders facilitate our Self-Actualization as Human Beings, as Souls.

The greatest divisions in our nation are between truth and integrity required in a democracy and the ongoing, escalating propaganda and corruption of an unfolding oligarchical dictatorship driven by predatory, parasitic capitalism. There is nothing healthy about being “well-adjusted” to a profoundly pathological society. The pathologies that we see in our society are pathologies imposed on our Souls, our human Spirit to subjugate us.

It takes courage to stand up and take the higher moral ground required for healing. It takes maturity to act in alignment with our human integrity and fearlessly stand up for the truth – not only against those who oppose it, but also to counter and set an example for those in our midst – our “friends” who see the corruption and choose to remain silent and do nothing. There are far more of us with human maturity and integrity of moral conscience and courage than those who worship power, profits and money.

To remain silent and “play nice” is to compromise our integrity as human beings and abdicate our responsibility as citizens. As we enable the enablers who state “DC is not their concern and it doesn’t matter here”, we ourselves contribute to the dismantling of our Democracy. We set an example of apathy and powerlessness for our youth that directly undermines their future.

Psyche means Soul.  Psychology encompasses and integrates both mental health and emotional health for our Soul’s spiritual health of Sovereignty and so our maturity and integrity as human beings. We all have a moral, ethical and spiritual obligation to say what we see at a collective level that destroys our integrity, our Souls as human beings and so our integrity, our unity in diversity, the Soul of our nation.

In the end, as long as WE take a stand, truth and justice ALWAYS win and our Democracy and rule of law will prevail no matter how hard any group works to shred our Constitution.

As we dare to do something different, everything will change. WE ALL are Leaders as we stand up and for our accountability to our Souls for truth, honesty, morality, ethics, and integrity as Human Beings in Leading Our Lives and demand the same from those who represent us. Patriots are those who speak truth to the abuse of our Sovereignty. Nothing else Matters in a Democracy.

Democracy is collective leadership Leading as Love. It’s the one change that changes everything. We undo the patriarchal perversion of leadership based in the privilege and entitlements of hierarchy, domination, power, and wealth.

If we stay in fear, we follow along reacting from the reptilian brain of fight, flight, freeze and fawn and the mammalian brain of herd/pack/mob mentality in conformity and compliance with “authorities” of societal, political and religious ideologies and agendas. Life gave us a Gift that calls us to Sovereignty: To consciously engage, apply and act on our higher human intellect of the cortex of abstract concepts (democracy, integrity, etc.), moral conscience and the foresight to see the present and future implications of our choices and consequences of our actions. Our Soul is the only valid Authority in Leading our Lives.

Our morals, ethics and integrity – what really matter in a life well lived – are what make us Human Beings: Our Sovereignty of Soul ends the chaos. What’s on the inside shows up on the outside. Sovereignty is the simultaneous independence and interdependence of our Souls that is Life as Love.

It’s boots on the ground NOW for each of us. This is our Call to FreedOM. As we fail to confront ourselves, we fail to grow and so fail to Lead Life. WE are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

I welcome speaking with any group willing to take this stand for Leadership in Democracy.

The Collapse of Leadership in Government and Business

This is one of my longer posts that I hope that you will take the time to read. I have learned more about the fundamental essentials of leadership in the past 12 months than in the prior 40 years by watching local, state and national politics. Our politics is a solid case study of the blatant absence of societal-economic-political leadership.

While I’ve been saying this in different ways, leadership comes down to consciously and actively enacting the foundations of human relationships that enable unity in diversity. I have talked about care, understanding, respect, and responsibility. Going even deeper, I now understand that underlying these, True Leadership is about ensuring truth (honesty, morality, ethics, and integrity), transparency and accountability; truth and accountability define leadership. Here is the local story that revealed this.

The “Story”

About a year ago, to great fanfare, our First Selectman (FS) announced that we were purchasing a vacant office building to consolidate and house our public safety professionals. They are in 2 or 3 different locations, the police department in a leased building that the FS/Board of Selectmen (BoS) had intentionally allowed to deteriorate over a number of years to the point of becoming “deplorable.” It was a manufactured “crisis” to create an emotional trigger to justify what was proposed. Had the building been maintained, while smaller than needed at 7K square feet, it would have been functional until the integrity of process dictated that we do something else.

There were presentations at town meetings. During the meetings, we were given vague descriptions of what needed to happen with the 30K square foot building. Here are a couple of key things: The building is over 30 years old and not up to CT state public building codes and it is out of compliance with ADA.  But it was a “great deal.” For $6M, we could purchase the building for $2.8 and for the remaining $3.2M, we could renovate, upgrade and have a “new” building with room for expansion for other town functions. As we are finding out now, the claims were bogus and had no foundation in facts.

No due diligence was done. There was no professional, written appraisal by certified commercial appraisers. We were given photocopies of “comps” provided by cronies of the FS with a hand-written estimate of its value. Since the commercial real estate market locally is “dead,” the building was more than likely overpriced; even the town’s own appraisal was $500K less than we paid. There was no professional inspection of the building. There was no list of what would be needed or cost estimates.

The FS met with the Board of Finance (BoF) on January 23. They pointed out all these as being irresponsible; the FS was evasive and stonewalled them (my husband watched the 5 hour meeting live). The BoF cut $1M from the budget (cost of sally port and cells) and at nearly midnight passed a $5M bond authorization to go to referendum. The FS assured the BoF that due diligence would be done before closing. It was not. The entire process was blatantly disrespectful of the BoF, BoS and the rest of us. Democracy, shared power, is collective leadership which is impossible when an objective is to manipulate facts and keep as many secrets as possible.

Despite the best efforts of some of us to publicly point out the obvious deceptions and implications, it passed referendum in late February. All we wanted was the truth. The FS retaliated against my family through a town department head; an abuse of power and misuse of town resources for political purposes.

The town closed on the building in May and the committee appointed to oversee the project sent out an RFP and hired an architect.

Fast-forward to late September. While the architect knew that our budget was $1.7M for renovations ($500K was set aside for communications technology), they presented a plan with an estimate of $5.8M. Pre-election, the FS and committee chair had been saying that they are confident that this will come in on budget. Post-election, they are now scrambling to cut back:  It will be on one floor instead of two and they plan to ask the state for waivers for compliance with structural codes for public safety buildings among cutting a laundry list of other big-ticket items such as an elevator and other ADA compliance issues, sprinkler system, roof, HVAC unit, parking lot and driveway. The person chairing the committee is an executive in facilities management for a large corporation. If this had been done there, he would have been fired.

It’s been a scam, manipulation, gross mismanagement, and intentional irresponsibility. We were gaslighted: Told what we were supposed to believe despite facts and evidence to the contrary. What is most sad for me is that in betraying us, they betrayed themselves as human beings. The lights were on illuminating truth but few were paying attention. The time and energy spent on spinning BS could have been spent doing things in the right ways and now we all have to live with the lies and those in “power” have to continue to spin a cover up. We can’t have the right discussions or make the right choices founded in deliberate deceit and intentional irresponsibility.

When we continuously double down on deceit and irresponsibility rather than admitting what was done was wrong, it eventually becomes willful stupidity. This is where we are with the public safety building.

Here Are Some Underlying Psychological Drivers that I Observed

Some politicians believe that being elected gives them “ownership” and the mandate to do whatever they want. The FS was re-elected by a very slim margin. The closeness of the vote clearly reflects “no confidence” in the FS, our direction or how decisions are made that affect everyone. He is without mandate. I am grateful that the opponent stood solidly and courageously for honesty, integrity and transparency, shining a light on the ongoing deliberate deceit.

People whose moral code is to “win” at all costs rather than truth and accountability which are fundamental to every human relationship, to love, don’t belong in elected office. They game the system and we all lose.

With the mentality of “winning-at-all-costs”, we create a huge pile of “you-know-what” and then step into it up to our knees. It can’t be scraped off; we track it everywhere. We have abdicated our integrity. The only way out is through with full acknowledgement and ownership of the crap of our missteps. The only way forward is truth.

Reflecting on the election results, I asked myself: In the era of DJT/DC, have we become so desensitized to the deceit, dishonest, immoral, unethical and corrupt actions and manipulation by our politicians and their loyalists that it has become “acceptable” to undermine our democracy and violate sound governance practices to the point that we look the other way and vote for them anyway believing that we are getting something out of it?

It’s up to all of us who believe that politics is intended to be a public expression of our personal and collective morality, ethics, integrity, and accountability and to keep this in the forefront of everyone’s awareness. This is only “partisan” when a party relies on corrupting the integrity of our democratic process and our societal-economic-political system to “win.” Anything based in deceit fails, so then who “wins?” The collapse of leadership is a symptom of the collapse of human truthfulness and accountability to one another that result in the collapse of our society.

Demanding truth and accountability of our elected officials starts with each and every one of us… demanding truth and accountability of ourselves. When evaluating people for leadership roles, the ONLY qualities that MATTER are demonstrated truthfulness, transparency and taking accountability. This applies in business as well as government. In the 1990’s, business treated “ethics” as an afterthought, an add-on to leadership development. As we are learning now, this was a huge mistake.

After the vote, the FS described demands for truth and accountability as “ugly” and labelled those of us who did “nasty” because we called him out and weren’t subservient and compliant. The real ugliness was the demonstrated dishonest, immoral, unethical, and corrupt processes and practices that we have been subjected to for this and other decisions in town.

This ugliness as acceptable is the example being set for our youth. Silence and “playing nice” are complicity; it is how the patriarchal structure maintains power and control. We betray ourselves and abdicate our own integrity. Exposing ugliness restores the possibility of the beauty of truth to life.

Truth, honesty, morality, ethics, integrity, transparency, and accountability are not “nice to haves.” They are the hallmarks of psychologically healthy and mature human beings. They ensure that our public and elected officials keep Oaths and serve us. They ensure that executives do what is right for all, not just shareholder/owner profit. They ensure that we engage with others in the right ways so that we make the right decisions with the right outcomes for ALL of us. There is no other way. Flawed process. Flawed outcome. The ends NEVER justify the means; the means are the ends. All deliberate deceit is being outed, everywhere. Truth is uncomfortable and inconvenient but it is what liberates us.

3AM Observations of a Heavy Heart

What do WE do in the face of the pathological power paradigm of the patriarchy? How do WE deal with these significant pathologies whether they are in town hall, the WH, Congress, or SCOTUS, megalomaniacs obsessed with their own power?

These are profoundly unhealthy people who are fixated on their pathologies. They project these and create a pathological society and culture that exploits, manipulates and traumatizes all of us as human beings. This is the root cause of our epidemics of hate, cruelty, poverty, and homelessness, of addictions, overdoses and suicides to cope and escape our wholesale dehumanization to meet societal expectations of status, privilege, entitlement, power, control, and wealth used fill the void made by their separation from their souls, the absence of Spirit.

There is nothing healthy about being well-adjusted to a profoundly unhealthy society.

This void is the collapse of Leadership, the collapse of our humanity. Leaders’ purpose is to hold the space for Sacred Trust for our growth, evolution and actualization of Life as Love.

If something is too good to be true, it is not. In Leading Life and so others, there are NO substitutes for truth and accountability, they are the foundations of Love.  Leadership is defined by the higher level consciousness of human principles that are the foundations of and establish unity: Truth, honesty, morality, ethics, integrity, transparency, and accountability. Leading as Love is Truth and Accountability in Service to Life.

In Truth we are HUman BEings whose Purpose and Accountability are our Actualization as Souls, as Spirit, as Life as Love. When are we going to stand for ourselves, our truth and accountability as human beings? This is Leadership.

Leadership is Soul Actualization, your own and so others’. It requires the Self-Respect, Self-Awareness and Self-Love that are Truth and Accountability founded in honesty, morality, ethics and integrity as a Human Being.

What’s on the inside shows up on the outside in our collective life experience. If goals are externally-focused on status, position, privilege, entitlement, power, control, and wealth of personal achievement and success, we ALL fail as Human Beings.

The choices that we make today create our experience. What do you deeply care about? What really matters to you as a human being? What choices are you making to create, establish and sustain a thriving future for all of us, here and now? Or, are you looking the other way hoping it all just goes away? The only way forward is Truth and Accountability by ALL of us. Truth Matters.

Reflections on Letting Go

November 8, 2019

On yesterday morning’s walk, the remaining leaves were gently drifting and falling in a light breeze with their wonderful damp, musty smell permeating the air. Each step was taken carefully as they crunched beneath my feet because they hide rocks and roots on the trail which I have tripped on and fallen more than once.

In this walking meditation, I contemplated what it means to “let go” and what I am letting go of. For me, letting go means allowing Life’s emergence and unfoldment in and through me. It is a “death” to the old patterns. It means relinquishing control because Life has a Purpose and Plan for everyone and everything. Just like me, you and everyone else are an integral part of that Plan because all of Life is connected and interdependent. When we are aligned and attuned to Life, harmony, coherence and collaboration are nurtured for the greatest good of Truth of Being and Accountability.

As I walked, I silently chanted the mantra, “Praise Love.” Trust allows for Surrender. Surrender invites Gratitude. Gratitude establishes Praise.

As a punctuation mark, this afternoon I received:

You’re flying blind a little bit at the moment.
You don’t know things are going to shake out.
You can’t see how Life is going to land.
Your job is to get still with yourself and
Clean out any shadows that contribute to you
Presuming the worst and wanting to flail about that.
You’re not in control of everything.
There are possibilities you haven’t even consider.
Something bigger than you is at play.
Let Life do its job and orchestrate how it needs to.
You get very honest about how you feel and
Face what needs to be faced so that
You can continue to bravely allow for the Unfolding Unknown. ~ Susan Grace


Praise Love for Life. Praise Truth for Freedom. We Are the Grace of All That Is.

The paradox is that in Trust, Surrender, Gratitude, and Praise, We Lead Life. This is the Sovereignty of our Center to meet Life on Life’s terms with all its discomfort and inconvenience and to move with It with Love. We Lead as Love.

We are watching the death throes and collapse of the toxic masculinity of privileged entitlement, status, domination, power, control by the patriarchal paradigm and world order. Its essence is dishonest, immoral, unethical, and corrupt and violates Life itself. It is self-destructing.

Let it go without fear and step into and welcome the Freedom of your Sovereignty as a Human Being so that Life can restore Life to ALL. WE ARE the ones we’ve been waiting for.

Leaders consciously act in Service to Life as Love.

May Blessings Be.